Arguing with family members is customary for most. Family members are also less diplomatic and understanding than others during apprehensive moments at gatherings and in other circumstances. Certainly, tensions between brothers, sisters, parents and others within a family can linger over the years, no matter how functional and conventional the unit in question might appear on the exterior.
Whenever families rejoin for special occasions such as Christmas meals, longstanding grudges, antagonisms and conflicts between siblings, parents and relatives won’t vanish into the ooze as everyone circles the Christmas tree to sing carols. To avoid ugly scenes during the holidays, family members should put aside their concerns and share peaceful, joyous times, because life is short. But diplomatic, picture-perfect interrelationships with family members aren’t always possible, especially during Christmas when everyone is expected to be living inside a Rockwell painting. But then, sometimes people are spoiling for combat with the family on the holidays.
Writer BJ Foster described a Saturday Night Live skit offering a video series called Home for the Holidays, featuring videos of family quarrels over holiday meals. “These tapes contain all of the strained conversations, dysfunctional couplings and plain old meltdowns that we come to expect during holiday get-togethers,” went the fake advert’s script.
Whenever families get together, what do they bicker about? Disagreements over money are common, specifically during the holidays when spending has a sudden increase. If disputes over money arise, then honest conversations over spending should follow. Angry confrontations with aggressive, condemning language rarely solves domestic problems such as rows over money. Long, careful talks with partners over bank and credit card statements is preferable to battling over dollar signs, figures and decimal points. If couples are brave enough to review their spending habits with each other, they can set goals. See where cuts can be made then discuss what should be kept with the objective of correcting the family’s bank balance in unison.
Expectations are heightened on Christmas – a holiday with a massive list. The house should be decorated in a particular way for this holiday, with stockings over the fireplace, pictures of Santa and candy canes everywhere. Seasonal goodies must be prepared, the right gifts have to be purchased and the tree in the living room should be glittering with lights and tinsel by December 24, or the world will stop spinning. For some, if none of the traditional aspects of Christmas pass the muster, then the holiday will fall apart, thus creating a family squabble lasting 140 years or more.
Before the holidays begin, have discussions with family members to see what they’re anticipating for Christmas this year. Have an idea of what the family is hoping Christmas will be for them, but encourage each other to be flexible. Keep the holiday spirit flourishing with a positive attitude.
Remember to thank the relatives who have worked to hard to make Christmas ideal for everyone this year. Quite a bit of labour will go into the holidays to make them a memorable time for everyone to enjoy. If anyone in the family needs help to make Christmas happen, be sure to ask them.
Ancient disagreements are often be dredged whenever families join, making Christmas a period of tension for some. Never dismiss the feelings of a family member if they’re still upset about something occurring ages ago. Christmas is a great time to seek forgiveness and settle enduring and unsolved differences between the family.
